Showing posts with label Life - Tips. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Life - Tips. Show all posts
CLEAN YOUR MATTRESS
Even if you change your sheets and pillowcases weekly, chances are you haven’t thought about how to clean a mattress lately. Dust and dust mites accumulate in our bedding very quickly and can cause anywhere from mild to severe allergic reactions. Getting rid of dust mites is an ongoing battle and one effective way to fight them is to keep your mattress and bedding clean. Below are simple steps to help you clean your mattress on a regular basis
Pour about 1 cup of baking soda into a Mason jar & drop in 4 drops of lavender essential oil. Put on lid & shake jar. Using a kitchen strainer, sprinkle the baking soda mixture all over the mattress & let it sit for an hour or more. Thoroughly vacuum the mattress. Bye, bye dust mites, & other nasty things. The baking soda helps draw up any moisture & deep dirtiness. It deodorizes & leaves the mattress smelling fresh & clean
Are You Killing Yourself by Sitting?
You can skip this article if you rarely engage in the following activities, or do so only for a few minutes of the day: TV viewing, video game playing, computer use (collective termed “screen time”), driving automobiles, and reading.
But if, for work or for entertainment, you spend a hefty part of your day sitting in one place, this article is essential reading. It could even save your life.
These days, it is easy to sit for up to eight hours a day. Almost everything we have to or love to do requires us to sit in one place. Accounting, writing, messaging, speaking on the phone, watching our favorite show, the commute to work…sure, we take the occasional break, but that’s mostly for the loo or a drink or water — simply not enough.
A sedentary lifestyle makes you a sitting duck for disease, and possibly early death.
A recent study of 17,000 Canadian adults conclusively proves the connection between sitting long hours and mortality. What’s worse, the dangers of sitting long hours are not seen to diminish even among those who exercise, which was demonstrated by an Australian study of more than 200,000 adults. Even if you spend 30 regular minutes a day pounding the treadmill or taking a brisk walk, you are at a high risk of developing serious health issues. That’s because 30 minutes are a very small fraction of your entire day.
Sitting for long hours, day after strenuous day, can lead to a clot in the leg. It’s called a pulmonary embolism. If a sedentary person also suffers from obesity, diabetes and circulatory problems, the likelihood of an embolism is much greater. But perhaps more significantly, it works the other way around, too: sitting for long hours can increase your risk of developing a cluster of health problems. Think obesity, diabetes, high blood pressure, high blood sugar, high cholesterol, fatty deposits around the middle…
Spend some time on www.sedentarybehaviour.org, the website of the Sedentary Behavior Research Network. It is a gold mine of information for those who are yet to confront the chilling dangers of sitting too many hours in a day.
Meanwhile, make sure you take short, frequent light-intensity walking breaks—they can dramatically reduce your risk of developing health problems caused by lack of activity. If you get too absorbed while working to remember getting up, simply set up a regular alarm. Let it go off every 30 minutes; your cue to taking a 5-minute walk.
坐月子的方法
(女的可以收藏,男的转给自己的爱人)
1、坐月子三阶段:一排二调三补
具体是将产后一个月按周划分,每周根据需要,吃不同的食品:
第一周,主要是要把多余的水分和毒素以及恶露排出体外,每天喝生化汤,吃麻油炒猪肝。注意不能喝水(否则排水的效果就没了),渴了就喝止渴饮料,如荔枝核、山楂片等,或煮开的米酒。任何菜都不能放水,用米酒煮开代替。不能放盐(盐会使水分停留在身体里),不能放醋(醋会使骨质变软),不能放酱油(道理同盐)。
第二周,主要增强骨质和腰肾的功能,恢复骨盆。每天吃炒腰子和杜仲粉,有助于缓解尾椎骨等骨疼;(另:如果是剖腹产,还要再喝一周生化汤)。禁忌同上,也不要吃咸菜,泡菜,味曾汤。
第三周到一个月,这时候,该排的已经排完,主要吃麻油鸡补身体。千万记得,排完毒素后吃麻油鸡才能被身体吸收,否则堆积在身体里,成为多余的脂肪。 因为前期身体虚弱,中医讲虚不受补,吃了吸收不了,只会加重身体的负担。
以上所有的食物,都要用到大量的米酒(不能用料酒和黄酒,里面含盐且工艺不同),生姜,胡麻油,红糖。
2、 同时,坐月子期间,不能吹风,着凉。
要穿有后帮的鞋(不能穿拖鞋,否则落下脚后跟疼的毛病)。洗脸用煮过的米酒放温后洗,不要洗澡,同样用煮过的米酒擦身。绑腹带,最好自己喂奶,对身体的恢复会更好。出了月子之后再开始运动,等等,不一而足。
我自己生小孩前110斤,生的时候135斤。小孩生下来8斤5两,生完4天时,113斤,出月子时就恢复到110斤。但是这时的体形很松跨,没有肌肉,肚子松松的。不过自己带小孩很累,加上偶尔的锻炼(抽时间锻炼也不容易啊),6个月后,体重已经变成98磅,体形也慢慢恢复好了,别人都看不出我生过小孩。没有胯变宽之类的后遗症,但是肚子上的妊辰纹消不下去了。
快生的时候腿已经有了浮肿,手关节也有些疼和肿大,但是坐完月子后,基本上就好了。生完后,尾椎骨疼,在第二个礼拜吃完杜仲粉后,也好了。有人觉得不吃盐太难了,其实我自己平时吃饭口味就淡,月子期间不吃盐也没觉得怎样。想想为了以后的健康和身材,一个月不吃盐又算什么呢?总比减肥舒服吧。
坐月子的生活
安静休养30-40天
产后最重要的一件事即为「休息」,在这段期间内,产妇周围的亲戚,如娘家的母亲与姊妹、夫家的亲属、当然还有丈夫等,都应同心协力的来照顾产妇,不让她离开房间、不让她起身做任何劳动、不分贫富、或者第几次生产,甚至是小产,都一定要同样的慎重!自然生产者须休养三十天,剖腹产、自然流产或人工流产者,更须延长休养的天数至四十天以上!
卧床二周
产后二周内为子宫收缩最快速的时候,此时因怀孕时子宫被胎儿撑得非常大,一但生产,子宫成为真空状态,内脏因不再受压迫而变的非常松垮,若产后即常坐起或走动,因地心引力的关系,将造成松垮的子宫及内脏收缩不良,引起内脏下垂,而「内脏下垂」就可能是所有妇女病的根源。所以产后二周内,除了吃饭及上厕所之外,其余时间,不论是白天或是晚上,均应卧床休息。
3、勤绑腹带防止「内脏下垂」并「收缩腹部」
利用生产的机会来调整体型,或者改善身体上的一些症状,是一个很重要的时机,所以很多人会在这段期间用纱布条绑腹,达到调整体型的目的!
坐月子期间必须特别注意防止「内脏下垂」,因内脏下垂可能为所有「妇女病」及「未老先衰」的根源,并会因此而产生小腹,故在坐月子期间须勤绑腹带以收缩腹部并防止内脏下垂,而若原本即为内脏下垂体型者,亦可趁坐月子期间勤绑腹带来改善。
所使用的腹带为一条很长的白纱带,长约1200公分,宽为15公分,每人须准备二条以便替换。因产后须热补,容易流汗,若汗湿时应将腹带拆开,并将腹部擦干,再洒些不带凉性的痱子粉后重新绑紧。若汗湿较严重时,则须更换干净的腹带,绑法请参考「腹带的绑法」。如果使用一般一片粘的束腹或束裤,不仅没有防止内脏下垂的效果,反而有可能压迫内脏令气血不通畅,使内脏变形或产生胀气而造成呼吸困难或下腹部突出的体型,请特别注意!
4、严禁洗头,但需用正确的方法清洁头皮
怀孕期间子宫增加的负担是不可言喻的,单看之前与之后子宫的大小就知道,因此,在生产后要使子宫尽快恢复原状。而要想子宫尽快的恢复功能,最重要的便是要将子宫内的污血完全排出,如果能使子宫成为真空状态,则贺尔蒙的分泌将会特别活跃,子宫的功能亦会比怀孕前更好!而洗头,将会严重影响产后恶露的排除,只要头皮一受凉,子宫里的污血马上会凝结成血块不易排出,就算马上吹干也不允许,况且用吹风机来吹头,是很容易引起头风及头痛的。而子宫内的废血若不清除干净,就很有可能会造成荷尔蒙不平衡以及内分泌不
协调,进而产生许多并发的症状,所以产后三十天须绝对遵守不要洗头,以免后患无穷!
5、二周内不可洗澡,但需用正确的方法擦澡
为了避免受凉,产后两周内不可洗澡,但要用正确的方法擦澡,第三周起可淋浴,满月后方可泡澡。
6、不可吹风,不论是热风或冷风
产后全身的毛细孔,包括头皮的毛细孔都是张开的,此时一吹到风,不论是热风或冷风,毛细孔就会立刻收缩,很容易造成筋骨酸痛、头痛、头风,甚至感冒。
7、要有舒适的环境,室温维持在摄氏25-28度
产妇要有舒适的环境,所以夏天太过炎热、或者冬天太冷,均需开空调让室温维持在摄氏25-28度之间,但却要注意不可以吹到风!所以一定要想办法将空调的风完全挡住,不可对着产妇吹,而且产妇须穿长裤、长袖、戴帽子、手套、围巾,并且穿袜子来挡风!
8、不可碰冷水
产妇不可碰冷水,以防受凉或产生酸痛的现象,所以举凡擦澡、洗脸、洗手、刷牙或产后第三周以后的冲澡,均需使用热水。
9、不可抱小孩
产后最重要的工作无它,就是安心下来,尽情的吃和睡。此时全身的机能均在迅速的恢复中,所以当然不可提重物,更不可抱小孩,否则极易产生内脏下垂的体型。况且,新生的婴儿,骨骼、内脏均尚未发育完全,最好还是尽量让他睡觉,常抱他只会对他造成不良影响。
10、侧躺喂奶
至于喂母奶时,也要侧躺在床上,将婴儿放于身侧让他吸奶,产妇可以斜靠,并在婴儿及产妇的背面各放一个大枕头支撑,但要注意不要堵住婴儿的鼻子,以免窒息。
11、关于母乳
每一个女人于生产完后,一定都会分泌母乳,母乳的分泌应是很充足的,但若不给婴儿吸食,就无法再分泌出来,即使婴儿一次就全部吸光,母乳的供应仍是源源不绝,因为这是母体的本能。所以若不给婴儿吃母乳,当然是很不好的。若是婴儿的吃奶量很少,则应将每次剩下的母乳都充分挤掉,以刺激下次乳房分泌足够的乳量。
产妇若因故临时不亲自喂奶,也要把积存于乳房中的奶挤掉,旧奶积存于乳房会使乳房产生硬块或导致乳腺炎,最好在产后的六个月中都能充分的授乳,这是最顺乎自然的育儿原则,不但能保护母亲,而且可减少日后发生乳癌的机会。
如果奶水清淡或不足,不妨于产后第三周起补充花生猪脚;而为了要让产后奶水快速分泌,可于产后第一时间施行"按电铃"(刺激乳头)的功课。
12、不可替小孩洗澡
前面强调月子期间不可抱小孩,相同的道理当然更不可以弯着腰来替小宝贝洗澡,如果无法做到,那么产后腰酸背痛及手脚酸麻的现象必定会随之而来,所以最好在产前就安排好小婴儿的照顾,或者跟先生商量,产后由先生来帮小贝比洗澡,如此还能增进亲子之间的感情呢!
13、不提重物,不爬楼梯
产后半年内均不可提太重的物品,以避免内脏下垂而导致腰酸背痛,而于月子期间爬楼梯更应禁止。
14、不可流泪
女性的老化从眼睛开始,所以产后眼部的保养是非常重要的。产妇严禁流泪,俗云:「产妇一滴泪比十两黄金还贵重」,所以伤感的事,如亲朋好友亡故等不幸的事情,绝不能让产妇知道,不能让她流泪,做丈夫的也应该在此时扛起所有的责任,让产妇能安心静养。
产妇如果哭泣的话,眼睛会提早老化,有时会演变为眼睛酸痛、青光眼或白内障的起因。当然,产妇本人也要尽量努力使自己心情开朗,不要担心杂事,要常常微笑,保持心情愉快。
15、不可看电视及书报杂志
产妇应尽量少看电视及书报,如果一定要看,则每十五分钟须让眼睛休息十分钟。最好能多听听轻柔的音乐,一方面让眼睛充分的休息,一方面可调整情绪,消除神经紧张。
16、眼部按摩
眼睛容易疲劳的产妇,可于三餐饭前及睡前将毛巾沾上热水(可稍热些),拧干后以毛巾热敷于眼部数分钟,再施行眼部按摩。
总结做月子要点:
1、月子里一定要吃的淡,能不放盐和味精就不放,因为宝宝的肾脏还没发育完全,这对奶水的质量和妈妈的体重都有直接关系,快坚持不下去时,想到自己的身材和宝宝,也就忍啦
2、前两周以排毒为主(猪肝和腰子有助排毒),一定不能吃大补和大热的东东(如桂园和蹄膀等),因为新妈妈经过生育,整个人非常虚弱,这时候大补不但吸收不到精华,且只会长膘,而且这时候长得膘很难减掉,热性的食物对奶水也不好,宝宝吃了容易便秘;
3、尽量用麻油炒菜,麻油有削减脂肪的功效,比一般食用油不长脂;
4、水果一定不能忘,但是前两周也不能大补,道理和2是一样的,多吃些哈密瓜、木瓜、葡萄等,西瓜什么的不要急着吃,因为西瓜太凉性;
5、任何冷的流质食物都要加热后再吃,否则不利于子宫归位,不能刺激肠胃;
6、第4周开始可以补力气了(如鸡肉等),第二个月开始和大家一样吃,但还是要注意清淡,否则宝宝受不了,自己也容易肿;
7、任何要加糖的点心食物都采用红糖,有助于恶露排出;
8、月子里早餐主食是糯米稀粥;中餐主食是薏米饭(薏米有排水消肿的效果的)不吃大米;晚餐主食是鱼汤。鱼汤(老姜用麻油爆的起皮后再煎鱼块,鱼用肉质松软的鱼,加水煮熟,到鱼汤变白即可),淡的,奶水好的小秘诀哦;
9、水份的补充:多喝豆浆,多吃冬瓜对无论是孕期还是产妇都有减肥和减肿得功效,还能提高奶水的质量;米酒煮开代替水喝,将米酒煮开之后,让酒精全部蒸发掉即可。
10、勤做产后恢复操。
The 3 Keys to Charisma
What are the secrets to charisma? Is it something you are born with or can you develop it over time? In this episode of “Ask Deepak” on The Chopra Well, Deepak Chopra outlines three key ingredients to charisma, demonstrated by the greatest leaders in history. Leadership may come more naturally to some than to others, such as Deepak’s example of Bill Clinton, but we can all learn to practice these skills over time. They are what Deepak teaches in his “Soul of Leadership” course at Kellogg School of Management, and also in his book by the same name.
The three keys to charisma:
1. Be completely present in the moment. Make those you interact with feel that they are the most important person in that moment.
2. Be responsive to feedback but immune to both criticism and flattery. You will not be offended by criticism, and your actions will not be influenced by flattery.
3. Radiate warmth through compassion, empathy, joy, and equanimity.
Top 10 Sleep Mistakes and Their Solutions
MISTAKE #1 Not keeping a consistent sleep schedule.
We often think we can make up for lost sleep by going to bed extra early another night, but the body clock’s ability to regulate healthy sleep patterns depends on consistency. We stay up late on weekends, expecting to make up sleep later or use the weekend to make up for lost sleep during the week. Both practices disrupt bodily rhythms and late-night weekends in particular can cause insomnia during the workweek.
SOLUTION: Create a routine and stick to it.
Getting up and going to bed around the same time, even on weekends, is the most important thing you can do to establish good sleep habits. Our bodies thrive on regularity and a consistent sleep schedule is the best reinforcement for the body’s internal clock.
Waking and sleeping at set times reinforces a consistent sleep rhythm and reminds the brain when to release sleep and wake hormones, and more importantly, when not to.
MISTAKE #2 Using long naps to counter sleep loss.
Long naps during the day especially after 4 p.m. or even brief nods in the evening while watching TV can damage a good sleep rhythm and keep you from enjoying a full sleep at night.
SOLUTION: Nap for no more than 30 minutes.
If naps are absolutely necessary, make sure you only nap once a day and keep it under a half hour and before 4 p.m. In general, short naps may not hurt sleep and in fact a short siesta for half an hour after lunch or a 20 minute power nap before 4 p.m. works well for many people.
MISTAKE #3 Not preparing for sleep.
Expecting the body to go from full speed to a standstill without slowing down first is unrealistic. Our bodies need time to produce enough sleep neurotransmitters to send feedback signals to the brain’s sleep center, which will result in the release of sleep hormones to allow you to sleep.
SOLUTION: Take the time to slowly shift into sleep.
a) Create an electronic sundown. By 10 p.m., stop sitting in front of a computer screen (or TV screen) and switch off all electronic devices. They are too stimulating to the brain and will cause you to stay awake longer.
b) Prepare for bed. Dim the lights an hour or more before going to bed, take a warm bath, listen to calming music or soothing sounds, do some restorative yoga or relaxation exercises. Getting your mind and body ready for sleep is essential. Remove any distractions (mentally and physically) that will prevent you from sleeping.
MISTAKE #4 Not giving your body the right sleep signals.
Our bodies depend on signals to tell them when to fall asleep and wake up, the two most fundamental ones being darkness and light. But we live and work in artificially lit environments and often miss out on the strongest regulatory signal of all, natural sunlight. When we do go to sleep and our bodies need complete darkness for production of the important sleep hormone, melatonin, our bedrooms are not pitch dark, thereby interfering with this key process.
SOLUTION: At night, keep the room as dark as possible.
Look around your bedroom: the alarm clock read-out that glows in bright red; the charging indicator on your cell phone or PDA, the monitor on your computer, the battery indicator on the cordless phone or answering machine, the DVD clock and timer. Even the tiniest bit of light in the room can disrupt your pineal gland’s production of sleep hormones and therefore disturb your sleep rhythms.
Conceal or move the clock, cover all the lights of any electronic device and use dark shades or drapes on the windows if they are exposed to light. If all of that is not possible, wear an eye mask.
If you get up in the middle of the night, try keeping the light off when you go to the bathroom. Use a flashlight or night light.
MISTAKE #5 Having a bed time snack of refined grains or sugars.
These are metabolic disruptors which raise blood sugar and overstress the organs involved in hormone regulation throughout the body. This hormone roller coaster can affect sleep cycles by waking you up at odd times during sleep as the hormone levels fluctuate.
SOLUTION: If you have to eat, have a high-protein snack.
It is better not to have anything before bed but at least a high protein snack will not only prevent the hormone roller coaster, but also may provide L-tryptophan, an amino acid needed to produce melatonin.
MISTAKE #6 Using sleeping pills to fall and stay asleep.
Sleeping pills mask sleep problems and do not resolve the underlying cause of insomnia. Many sleep studies have concluded that sleeping pills, whether prescription or over-the-counter, over the long term, do more harm than good. They can be highly addictive and studies have found them to be potentially dangerous (see references, below).
For short term use, there may be indications for sleeping pills, but over time, sleeping pills can actually make insomnia worse, not better. If you have been taking them for a long time, ask a doctor to help you design a regimen to wean yourself off them.
SOLUTION: Learn relaxation techniques.
Aside from physical problems, stress may be the number one cause of sleep disorders. Temporary stress can lead to chronic insomnia and circadian rhythm sleep disorders. Many people tell me they can’t switch off their racing minds and therefore can’t sleep.
Do some breathing exercises, restorative yoga or meditation. These will calm the mind and reduce the fears and worries that trigger the stress.
MISTAKE #7 Using Alcohol to fall asleep.
Because of alcohol’s sedating effect, many people with insomnia drink alcohol to promote sleep. Alcohol does have an initial sleep inducing effect, but as it gets broken down by the body, it usually impairs sleep during the second half of the night leading to a reduction in overall sleep time. Habitual alcohol consumption just before bedtime can reduce its sleep-inducing effect, while its disruptive effects continue or even increase.
SOLUTION: Take nutrients that calm the body and mind, getting you ready for sleep.
Don’t drink alcohol to help you sleep. Look for a calming formula that has some of the following: amino acids, L theanine, taurine, 5 HTP and GABA, and herbs like lemon balm, passion flower, chamomile and valerian root. Taking the minerals, calcium and magnesium at night is also helpful. For some people, especially those of us over 50, melatonin can be helpful too. This is because the body produces less melatonin with advancing age and may explain why elderly people often have difficulty sleeping and respond well to melatonin.
MISTAKE #8 Watching television to fall asleep.
Because we have no trouble at all falling asleep in the living room in front of the TV many of us watch TV in bed to fall asleep. But when we fall asleep in a bed watching TV, we invariably wake up later on. This sets up a cycle or conditioning that reinforces poor sleep at night. I have had many patients over the years develop insomnia due to this type of conditioning.
SOLUTION: Get the TV out of the bedroom.
Don’t watch TV in bed. The bed should be associated with sleep (and sex).
MISTAKE #9 Staying in bed hoping to fall asleep.
If you can’t fall asleep within 30-45 minutes, chances are you won’t for at least another hour, and perhaps even longer. You may have missed the open “sleep gate” or missed catching the sleep wave. A “sleep gate” is the open window of time your body will allow you to fall asleep. Researchers have found that our brain goes through several sleep cycles each night where all sleep phases are repeated. These cycles last from 90 minutes to two hours, and at the beginning of each cycle, the body’s “sleep gate” opens. You won’t be able to fall asleep when your sleep gate is closed.
SOLUTION: Catch the sleep wave.
If you find you can’t fall asleep within 45 minutes, get up and get out of the bedroom. Read a book, do a restorative yoga pose or do some other calming activity for another 1 -1 1/2 hours before trying to sleep again. Staying in bed only causes stress over not sleeping.
It is like surfing; you need to catch that sleep wave. Have you ever been exhausted and yet you avoid going to sleep and then a few hours later when you are ready for bed, you are suddenly wide awake? You missed the wave.
MISTAKE #10 Making sleep a performance issue.
Often just thinking about sleep affects your ability to fall asleep. What happens frequently is that the way you cope with the insomnia becomes as much of a problem, as the insomnia itself. It often becomes a vicious cycle of worrying about not being able to sleep which leads to worsening sleep problems. Like so many things in life, it is about letting go, going with the flow. Sleep needs to become a natural rhythm like breathing, something that comes automatically and you don’t think about.
SOLUTION: Let go and go with the flow.
Use the time to practice breathing exercises or meditation and to become aware of how what you eat, what medications you take, what behaviors or certain activities can affect your sleep cycle.
Increase your awareness by paying attention to your body and becoming conscious of how you react to different foods and situations. Use this time productively, instead of getting upset that you can’t fall asleep.
One final point.
For chronic insomniacs, especially if you are a heavy snorer, make sure Sleep Apnea is not the cause. This is a serious condition that affects at least 12 million Americans, many of whom have not been diagnosed. Usually they are heavy snorers. What happens is that the tissues at the back of the throat relax and in so doing block the airways. The brain senses oxygen deprivation, and sends wakeup signals. There is a release of adrenaline and cortisol, the stress hormone.
Not only does this interfere with sleep, it can increase blood pressure, raising your risk of heart problems and stroke. It can also interfere with insulin sensitivity, and increases your risk of diabetes.
10 Healthy Home Tips
Tip 1: Know the ingredients in your personal care products.
Just because a label says “gentle” or “natural” doesn’t mean it’s kid-safe. Look up your products on CosmeticsDatabase.com. Read the ingredients and avoid triclosan, BHA, fragrance, and oxybenzone.
Tip 2: Eat organic & fresh foods.
Opt for organic fruits and veggies, or use FoodNews.org to find conventionally grown produce with the least pesticides. Choose milk and meat without added growth hormones. Limit canned food and infant formula, as can linings contain bisphenol A (BPA).
Tip 3: Avoid fire retardants.
Choose snug-fitting cotton pajamas for kids, and repair or replace worn out foam items.
Tip 4: Pick plastics carefully.
Some plastics contain chemicals, which are linked to cancer. Choose baby bottles made from glass instead of plastics marked with a "7" or "PC". Don't microwave plastic containers. Stay away from toys marked with a "3" or "PVC." Give your baby a frozen washcloth instead of vinyl teethers.
Tip 5: Wash those hands, but avoid Triclosan.
In addition to reducing illness, frequent hand washing will reduce kids' exposure to chemicals. Skip anti-bacterial soaps, since they can be bad for the environment, aren't any better than soap and water, and can contain pesticides that are absorbed through the skin.
Tip 6: Skip the non-stick, the dangers of teflon.
When overheated, non-stick cookware can emit toxic fumes. Cook with cast iron or stainless steel and bake with oven-safe glass instead.
Tip 7: Filter your tap water.
Use a reverse osmosis system or carbon filter pitcher to reduce your family's exposure to impurities in water, like chlorine and lead. Don't drink bottled water, which isn't necessarily better. Mix infant formula with fluoride-free water.
Tip 8: Get rid of that (toxic) dust.
Kids spend lots of time on the floor, and household dust can contain contaminants like lead and fire retardants. HEPA-filter vacuums capture the widest range of particles and get rid of allergens. Leave your shoes at the door so you don't bring more pollutants inside.
Tip 9: Use greener cleaners and avoid pesticides.
Household cleaners, bug killers, pet treatments, and air fresheners can irritate kids' lungs, especially if your kids have asthma. Investigate less toxic alternatives. Use vinegar in place of bleach, baking soda to scrub your tiles, and hydrogen peroxide to remove stains.
Tip 10: Your Healthy Home Checklist.
We created this Healthy Home Checklist for you to use as you walk through your home -- and open your bathroom cabinet, look under your sink, and check those laundry supplies. It's an easy, hands-on way to create a less toxic environment for your family.
Just because a label says “gentle” or “natural” doesn’t mean it’s kid-safe. Look up your products on CosmeticsDatabase.com. Read the ingredients and avoid triclosan, BHA, fragrance, and oxybenzone.
Tip 2: Eat organic & fresh foods.
Opt for organic fruits and veggies, or use FoodNews.org to find conventionally grown produce with the least pesticides. Choose milk and meat without added growth hormones. Limit canned food and infant formula, as can linings contain bisphenol A (BPA).
Tip 3: Avoid fire retardants.
Choose snug-fitting cotton pajamas for kids, and repair or replace worn out foam items.
Tip 4: Pick plastics carefully.
Some plastics contain chemicals, which are linked to cancer. Choose baby bottles made from glass instead of plastics marked with a "7" or "PC". Don't microwave plastic containers. Stay away from toys marked with a "3" or "PVC." Give your baby a frozen washcloth instead of vinyl teethers.
Tip 5: Wash those hands, but avoid Triclosan.
In addition to reducing illness, frequent hand washing will reduce kids' exposure to chemicals. Skip anti-bacterial soaps, since they can be bad for the environment, aren't any better than soap and water, and can contain pesticides that are absorbed through the skin.
Tip 6: Skip the non-stick, the dangers of teflon.
When overheated, non-stick cookware can emit toxic fumes. Cook with cast iron or stainless steel and bake with oven-safe glass instead.
Tip 7: Filter your tap water.
Use a reverse osmosis system or carbon filter pitcher to reduce your family's exposure to impurities in water, like chlorine and lead. Don't drink bottled water, which isn't necessarily better. Mix infant formula with fluoride-free water.
Tip 8: Get rid of that (toxic) dust.
Kids spend lots of time on the floor, and household dust can contain contaminants like lead and fire retardants. HEPA-filter vacuums capture the widest range of particles and get rid of allergens. Leave your shoes at the door so you don't bring more pollutants inside.
Tip 9: Use greener cleaners and avoid pesticides.
Household cleaners, bug killers, pet treatments, and air fresheners can irritate kids' lungs, especially if your kids have asthma. Investigate less toxic alternatives. Use vinegar in place of bleach, baking soda to scrub your tiles, and hydrogen peroxide to remove stains.
Tip 10: Your Healthy Home Checklist.
We created this Healthy Home Checklist for you to use as you walk through your home -- and open your bathroom cabinet, look under your sink, and check those laundry supplies. It's an easy, hands-on way to create a less toxic environment for your family.
How To Poop Everyday
Do you know what is the dirtiest organ in your body? Yes, it is the colon. Actually, it seems unfair for your colon to do all the dirty job of containing feces.
Dirty it may seem, your colon is one of the most important organ in your body. Around one-third of your immune system accumulates in your colon. They ensure germs and toxins from the feces are well controlled. By keeping your feces longer, you are actually creating extra stress on your immune system and other body systems.
Pooping releases toxins and unwanted substances from your body. This lets your body easily absorb new nutrients and energy. Without proper body detoxification, you will still get sick no matter how healthy you eat.
When should you poop?
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the large intestine meridian is most active from 5am to 7am. So you should try to poop within this time range. Otherwise, just make it early in the morning. The recommended pooping frequency is at least once a day. This lets your body detoxify efficiently.
So how can you poop everyday? Even if you have no constipation problem, how can you further improve your intestine health? Here are some tips you can follow.
Set your mind
Before sleeping, tell yourself you will poop tomorrow morning. Then, tell yourself you will poop everyday. With this, you gradually program your mind and body to poop everyday.
A better approach is to actually visualize yourself pooping everyday. Feel it and experience it. Then say to yourself, “I am grateful I can now poop everyday to detoxify my body thoroughly. Thank you!”
Try it. It may work well for you. There is definitely no side effect. And it is free anyway.
Make a habit
Imagine your superior announced a short meeting to be held everyday. On the first day, the meeting started at 8am. On the second day, you waited in the meeting room at 8am but your superior was nowhere to be seen. Later at 10am, your superior said the meeting will start immediately. And on the third day, the meeting was not held until 4pm.
How would you feel? Do you think your superior can gather every worker for meeting if he set the time randomly each day? Of course not.
Similarly, your body works best when you follow a routine. Your body loves it when you can poop at the same time, eat at the same time and sleep at the same time, each and every day.
You may have experienced this before. Let say you have no problem pooping everyday in the morning. But on one particular day, you are too busy in the morning and forgot to poop. When you remembered it in the afternoon, you tried to poop but could not.
After missing your routine pooping time, you may have more difficulty pooping later on. That is why some people have constipation when they travel due to inconsistent or busy schedule. When they return home, they can poop normally again.
Therefore, it is very important for you to develop a routine to poop everyday. Respect your pooping time. Avoid delaying it for your other urgent work. Pooping is the most important thing to do in the morning. When your pooping routine is set, you will poop effortlessly everyday.
Have a bowel friendly diet
Your diet directly affects your intestine health. For better bowel movement, take more vegetable and fruits. They contains fiber for smoother bowel movement and promote a healthy balance of beneficial bacteria in your intestine.
Take less meat, spicy, fried and grilled foods. Too much of these food lower your immunity and
disrupt the healthy bacteria balance in your intestine. Without sufficient healthy bacteria,
your feces becomes hard, resulting in constipation.
Avoid anger and stress
To ensure proper bowel movement, you need to be really relaxed. If you often get angry or stress, your bowel will also tense up. This eventually leads to constipation. You may also have more difficulty in passing motion when you are in a rush.
Imagine going to the toilet and think, "I must complete my pooping within 2 minutes. Or else, I will be late for the meeting." You will most probably come out from the toilet after 2 minutes... without pooping.
Anger and stress will also create toxins that disrupt your body systems and lower your immunity.
Points to note
Although pooping everyday is important, it is equally important to do it the right way. Avoid exerting too much force while pooping. This may temporarily increase your blood pressure.
People with normal blood pressure is not affected much. But those with long term high blood pressure and blood vessel hardening may risk getting stroke due to sudden blood pressure increase. In the long term, exerting too much force may also result in piles growth.
If you have diarrhea, you may not poop for one or two days. This is normal because your intestine has been emptied.
Be patient. You may not see the result you want in the beginning. By following all above mentioned points as much as possible, you should gradually improve your intestine health and are able to poop everyday.
Enjoy your pooping!
Dirty it may seem, your colon is one of the most important organ in your body. Around one-third of your immune system accumulates in your colon. They ensure germs and toxins from the feces are well controlled. By keeping your feces longer, you are actually creating extra stress on your immune system and other body systems.
Pooping releases toxins and unwanted substances from your body. This lets your body easily absorb new nutrients and energy. Without proper body detoxification, you will still get sick no matter how healthy you eat.
When should you poop?
According to Traditional Chinese Medicine, the large intestine meridian is most active from 5am to 7am. So you should try to poop within this time range. Otherwise, just make it early in the morning. The recommended pooping frequency is at least once a day. This lets your body detoxify efficiently.
So how can you poop everyday? Even if you have no constipation problem, how can you further improve your intestine health? Here are some tips you can follow.
Set your mind
Before sleeping, tell yourself you will poop tomorrow morning. Then, tell yourself you will poop everyday. With this, you gradually program your mind and body to poop everyday.
A better approach is to actually visualize yourself pooping everyday. Feel it and experience it. Then say to yourself, “I am grateful I can now poop everyday to detoxify my body thoroughly. Thank you!”
Try it. It may work well for you. There is definitely no side effect. And it is free anyway.
Make a habit
Imagine your superior announced a short meeting to be held everyday. On the first day, the meeting started at 8am. On the second day, you waited in the meeting room at 8am but your superior was nowhere to be seen. Later at 10am, your superior said the meeting will start immediately. And on the third day, the meeting was not held until 4pm.
How would you feel? Do you think your superior can gather every worker for meeting if he set the time randomly each day? Of course not.
Similarly, your body works best when you follow a routine. Your body loves it when you can poop at the same time, eat at the same time and sleep at the same time, each and every day.
You may have experienced this before. Let say you have no problem pooping everyday in the morning. But on one particular day, you are too busy in the morning and forgot to poop. When you remembered it in the afternoon, you tried to poop but could not.
After missing your routine pooping time, you may have more difficulty pooping later on. That is why some people have constipation when they travel due to inconsistent or busy schedule. When they return home, they can poop normally again.
Therefore, it is very important for you to develop a routine to poop everyday. Respect your pooping time. Avoid delaying it for your other urgent work. Pooping is the most important thing to do in the morning. When your pooping routine is set, you will poop effortlessly everyday.
Have a bowel friendly diet
Your diet directly affects your intestine health. For better bowel movement, take more vegetable and fruits. They contains fiber for smoother bowel movement and promote a healthy balance of beneficial bacteria in your intestine.
Take less meat, spicy, fried and grilled foods. Too much of these food lower your immunity and
disrupt the healthy bacteria balance in your intestine. Without sufficient healthy bacteria,
your feces becomes hard, resulting in constipation.
Avoid anger and stress
To ensure proper bowel movement, you need to be really relaxed. If you often get angry or stress, your bowel will also tense up. This eventually leads to constipation. You may also have more difficulty in passing motion when you are in a rush.
Imagine going to the toilet and think, "I must complete my pooping within 2 minutes. Or else, I will be late for the meeting." You will most probably come out from the toilet after 2 minutes... without pooping.
Anger and stress will also create toxins that disrupt your body systems and lower your immunity.
Points to note
Although pooping everyday is important, it is equally important to do it the right way. Avoid exerting too much force while pooping. This may temporarily increase your blood pressure.
People with normal blood pressure is not affected much. But those with long term high blood pressure and blood vessel hardening may risk getting stroke due to sudden blood pressure increase. In the long term, exerting too much force may also result in piles growth.
If you have diarrhea, you may not poop for one or two days. This is normal because your intestine has been emptied.
Be patient. You may not see the result you want in the beginning. By following all above mentioned points as much as possible, you should gradually improve your intestine health and are able to poop everyday.
Enjoy your pooping!
Brain Experts’ 6 Best Memory Tricks
Wish your memory were a little sharper? Want to remember names and numbers as well as you could a few years back? Brain experts swear by the following six simple techniques.
1. Never forget a name: Look, snap, connect.
There are three steps to psychiatrist Gary Small’s favorite tactic, which he calls “Look, Snap, Connect.” The first is to tell yourself that remembering a particular name is a priority, says Small, who’s also the director of the UCLA Center on Aging and author of several books about memory and cognition, including The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head.
Step 1: Really focus (LOOK) on a name and face you want to remember.
Step 2: Create a visual snapshot (SNAP) of the name and face. Note a key visual characteristic: Big ears? Silver hair? Blue eyes? Dimples? Also create an image about the name: A cat stands for Mrs. Katz, a dollar bill for someone named Bill. “I sometimes see a famous person with a similar name,” Small says. “So Angela Shirnberger becomes Angelina Jolie wearing shined shoes and eating a burger.”
Step 3: Join the two images (CONNECT): Maybe blue-eyed Bill is a blue dollar bill, or Angela Shirnberger is a silver-haired Angelina Jolie with shiny shoes eating a hamburger. The simple act of thinking up these images helps cement them in your memory — and ups the odds that the new name will materialize for you the next time you encounter the person.
2. Another name trick: Use it before you lose it.
If a new name goes in one ear and out the other, try to trap it inside your head by using it immediately, suggests University of Wisconsin geriatric psychiatrist Ken Robbins, who’s also board certified in internal medicine. When you meet John Jones, Robbins says, deliberately repeat his name: “Nice to meet you, John.”
Then use his name in conversation every few minutes while you talk: “So John, how long have you been with your company?” And, “That’s a great point, John.” You might feel a little like a genial newscaster, but you don’t have to overdo it. Every few minutes is sufficient.
Remembering names is tricky because we’re distracted by the social interactions of the moment. And names are arbitrary, a type of information that’s harder to retain.
“Simply saying the name aloud a few times helps it stick,” Robbins says. As you walk away from the person, say the name again to yourself: “So that was John Jones of ABC Company.”
3. To remember to do something: Picture it.
Don’t want to forget to meet your friend for lunch? Need to remember to take your medicine? Create an image that associates the task with something else happening around the same time, and then picture yourself following through when you see that cue, suggests memory specialist Mark McDaniel, a professor of psychology at Washington University in St. Louis.
Say the mailman comes just before lunch. Now picture yourself getting up to go to lunch when you see the mail truck. Odds are good that when the truck appears, that’s what you’ll do.
“The concrete environmental event cues you. It triggers the intention,” McDaniel says. Studies have shown that women who visualize doing breast self-exams in the shower are more likely to actually do them. Diabetics are more likely to monitor blood glucose daily when the task is tied to another everyday event.
More examples: Remember to take a new morning medication by imagining yourself doing so when you sip juice at breakfast (if you have juice every day). Remember to drop off dry cleaning by picturing doing so as you pass a particular landmark at that intersection.
4. To remember where things are: Put them in your path.
Visual reminders are like crutches. Without them, we have to conjure up an answer from thin air (“Now where did I put my umbrella?”) or, worse, remember to remember the thing in the first place (“Darn! Forgot my umbrella again!”). Storing an umbrella (or keys, or sunglasses) right by the door makes you more likely to remember to find it and take it with you. Having a habitual storage spot, like an umbrella stand, is another memory booster.
“Leaving it where you can see it so you don’t forget helps your prospective memory, which is remembering to remember things, like where you put something,” psychiatrist Gary Small says.
But what if the umbrella stand becomes “invisible” to you because it’s sunny on most days, so you risk forgetting the thing when it rains? Again, use a visual reminder, Small says. Move the umbrella right in front of the door as soon as you see the rain forecast.
Similarly, leave papers you need to take home with you on the floor beside your desk, right in your footpath. Assemble ingredients on a counter before you begin cooking, so you’re unlikely to forget
any. Put a package bound for UPS in your car when you have it ready; don’t expect to remember to look for it when you’re leaving the house.
5. To recall important events: Do a nightly review.
Parents sometimes use a “review the day” tactic at bedtime to give young kids a warm, fuzzy feeling and to recap the day’s best teachable moments. A similar process can help your brain recap what’s important.
It’s easy: Before going to bed, run a mental review of the key things that happened that you want to
remember. You got a call confirming an appointment for tomorrow? Promised a friend you’d follow up about lunch? Made a new acquaintance? (What was her name? Her job? Her partner’s name?)
Better yet: Carry a small notebook into which you jot critical things to remember during the day. Review these notes at day’s end. “Most people find that the combination of writing and then reviewing really helps,” psychiatrist Ken Robbins says.
6. To recollect anything: Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
A tactic that goes by the fancy names of “spaced rehearsal” or “expanded retrieval” is a favorite because it’s so effective. Simply repeat something over and over at slightly extended intervals. Memory specialist Professor Mark McDaniel says the tactic is often used with Alzheimer’s patients. “And if it works for many of them, it can work for someone with a healthy brain,” he says.
To use it: Say you want to remember a name or a short grocery list, or — as is often the case for Alzheimer’s patients — you need to remind yourself or your loved one to check a calendar. Repeat the
name or task to yourself. Wait 15 seconds. Silently say it again to yourself. (“Bob Smith” or “Check the calendar.”) Wait 45 seconds. Bring it back up. Wait 90 seconds, then repeat. “If you can remember it after five minutes, you’re in good shape,” McDaniel says. “It’s been well stored.”
1. Never forget a name: Look, snap, connect.
There are three steps to psychiatrist Gary Small’s favorite tactic, which he calls “Look, Snap, Connect.” The first is to tell yourself that remembering a particular name is a priority, says Small, who’s also the director of the UCLA Center on Aging and author of several books about memory and cognition, including The Naked Lady Who Stood on Her Head.
Step 1: Really focus (LOOK) on a name and face you want to remember.
Step 2: Create a visual snapshot (SNAP) of the name and face. Note a key visual characteristic: Big ears? Silver hair? Blue eyes? Dimples? Also create an image about the name: A cat stands for Mrs. Katz, a dollar bill for someone named Bill. “I sometimes see a famous person with a similar name,” Small says. “So Angela Shirnberger becomes Angelina Jolie wearing shined shoes and eating a burger.”
Step 3: Join the two images (CONNECT): Maybe blue-eyed Bill is a blue dollar bill, or Angela Shirnberger is a silver-haired Angelina Jolie with shiny shoes eating a hamburger. The simple act of thinking up these images helps cement them in your memory — and ups the odds that the new name will materialize for you the next time you encounter the person.
2. Another name trick: Use it before you lose it.
If a new name goes in one ear and out the other, try to trap it inside your head by using it immediately, suggests University of Wisconsin geriatric psychiatrist Ken Robbins, who’s also board certified in internal medicine. When you meet John Jones, Robbins says, deliberately repeat his name: “Nice to meet you, John.”
Then use his name in conversation every few minutes while you talk: “So John, how long have you been with your company?” And, “That’s a great point, John.” You might feel a little like a genial newscaster, but you don’t have to overdo it. Every few minutes is sufficient.
Remembering names is tricky because we’re distracted by the social interactions of the moment. And names are arbitrary, a type of information that’s harder to retain.
“Simply saying the name aloud a few times helps it stick,” Robbins says. As you walk away from the person, say the name again to yourself: “So that was John Jones of ABC Company.”
3. To remember to do something: Picture it.
Don’t want to forget to meet your friend for lunch? Need to remember to take your medicine? Create an image that associates the task with something else happening around the same time, and then picture yourself following through when you see that cue, suggests memory specialist Mark McDaniel, a professor of psychology at Washington University in St. Louis.
Say the mailman comes just before lunch. Now picture yourself getting up to go to lunch when you see the mail truck. Odds are good that when the truck appears, that’s what you’ll do.
“The concrete environmental event cues you. It triggers the intention,” McDaniel says. Studies have shown that women who visualize doing breast self-exams in the shower are more likely to actually do them. Diabetics are more likely to monitor blood glucose daily when the task is tied to another everyday event.
More examples: Remember to take a new morning medication by imagining yourself doing so when you sip juice at breakfast (if you have juice every day). Remember to drop off dry cleaning by picturing doing so as you pass a particular landmark at that intersection.
4. To remember where things are: Put them in your path.
Visual reminders are like crutches. Without them, we have to conjure up an answer from thin air (“Now where did I put my umbrella?”) or, worse, remember to remember the thing in the first place (“Darn! Forgot my umbrella again!”). Storing an umbrella (or keys, or sunglasses) right by the door makes you more likely to remember to find it and take it with you. Having a habitual storage spot, like an umbrella stand, is another memory booster.
“Leaving it where you can see it so you don’t forget helps your prospective memory, which is remembering to remember things, like where you put something,” psychiatrist Gary Small says.
But what if the umbrella stand becomes “invisible” to you because it’s sunny on most days, so you risk forgetting the thing when it rains? Again, use a visual reminder, Small says. Move the umbrella right in front of the door as soon as you see the rain forecast.
Similarly, leave papers you need to take home with you on the floor beside your desk, right in your footpath. Assemble ingredients on a counter before you begin cooking, so you’re unlikely to forget
any. Put a package bound for UPS in your car when you have it ready; don’t expect to remember to look for it when you’re leaving the house.
5. To recall important events: Do a nightly review.
Parents sometimes use a “review the day” tactic at bedtime to give young kids a warm, fuzzy feeling and to recap the day’s best teachable moments. A similar process can help your brain recap what’s important.
It’s easy: Before going to bed, run a mental review of the key things that happened that you want to
remember. You got a call confirming an appointment for tomorrow? Promised a friend you’d follow up about lunch? Made a new acquaintance? (What was her name? Her job? Her partner’s name?)
Better yet: Carry a small notebook into which you jot critical things to remember during the day. Review these notes at day’s end. “Most people find that the combination of writing and then reviewing really helps,” psychiatrist Ken Robbins says.
6. To recollect anything: Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.
A tactic that goes by the fancy names of “spaced rehearsal” or “expanded retrieval” is a favorite because it’s so effective. Simply repeat something over and over at slightly extended intervals. Memory specialist Professor Mark McDaniel says the tactic is often used with Alzheimer’s patients. “And if it works for many of them, it can work for someone with a healthy brain,” he says.
To use it: Say you want to remember a name or a short grocery list, or — as is often the case for Alzheimer’s patients — you need to remind yourself or your loved one to check a calendar. Repeat the
name or task to yourself. Wait 15 seconds. Silently say it again to yourself. (“Bob Smith” or “Check the calendar.”) Wait 45 seconds. Bring it back up. Wait 90 seconds, then repeat. “If you can remember it after five minutes, you’re in good shape,” McDaniel says. “It’s been well stored.”
Let It Go!
Caroline, a primary school teacher, always worry about her students' poor academic results. At last she thought of an idea to help them.
One day, she asked all her students to bring a big bag full of potato to school. Her students wondered what potato had to do with study but they still followed her instruction.
When the class began next morning, each student had a big bag full of potato on their table. They waited curiously for Caroline to give them further instruction. One of her student, Mike thought, "Are we having a potato eating competition?"
Finally Caroline began to give her instruction, "Please put all the potatoes on the table. Everyone should only have an empty bag." So the children emptied their potato bag, causing noisy thump sound of potato hitting the table.
When the classroom was silent again, Caroline continued, "Boys and girls, has someone hurt you before and you won't forgive them?" Most of the students nodded slowly.
"Now, choose a potato to represent a person you could not forgive. Write their name down on that potato and throw it into your potato bag," Caroline added.
The potato game begins
Suddenly, the silent class became a noisy market with little kids and their potatoes.
Mike threw his first potato into the bag and said, "Sam hit my head last week. So I throw one here." Then he threw the second potato and said, "Jane said my hair is ugly. So I throw another one for her."
"Mary didn't want to lend me her exercise book. So I throw one more here," Mike continued to fill his potato bag. He felt upset with his classmates and swore never to forgive them. At last, he had 10 potatoes in his bag.
When the students finished their potato business, the bell rang signaling the class was over.
Caroline told her students, "For this week, bring your potato bag wherever you go. This is your homework. If anyone hurt you, just write their name on a new potato and throw it into your potato bag."
Releasing the hatred
Initially the students were happy. They can release their hatred through throwing the potatoes. And most of the potato bags were full. Michelle had more than 50 potatoes in her bag!
But a fter a few days, excitement turned to burden. Their potato bag became heavier. The kids no longer had the energy to carry their heavy potato bag all the time. So they turned to their teacher.
Mike complained, "Teacher! When can we complete this exercise? We are almost buried under these potatoes!"
The burden of hatred
Caroline smiled and said, "So now you know the burden of not forgiving others, don't you?" Puzzled faces across the classroom looked at Caroline. The students couldn't get it.
"You're burdening yourself with these potatoes. The more you couldn't forgive others, the heavier your load becomes," explained Caroline.
"So what shall we do?" Mike asked again.
"Simple. Just let it go. Forgive everyone and take out all the potatoes from your bag. This will ease your entire burden. And you'll be free." Caroline said.
"But they have hurt me before. And I hate them!" Mike protested.
"Just... let it go..." Caroline said slowly.
How many of us can let go of our hatred? Hating someone is torturing yourself. That person may or may not even know you're hating them! There is nothing positive about hatred yet you are harbouring negative feelings in your heart. Habouring hatred is the most unfair treatment one can give to himself.
One day, she asked all her students to bring a big bag full of potato to school. Her students wondered what potato had to do with study but they still followed her instruction.
When the class began next morning, each student had a big bag full of potato on their table. They waited curiously for Caroline to give them further instruction. One of her student, Mike thought, "Are we having a potato eating competition?"
Finally Caroline began to give her instruction, "Please put all the potatoes on the table. Everyone should only have an empty bag." So the children emptied their potato bag, causing noisy thump sound of potato hitting the table.
When the classroom was silent again, Caroline continued, "Boys and girls, has someone hurt you before and you won't forgive them?" Most of the students nodded slowly.
"Now, choose a potato to represent a person you could not forgive. Write their name down on that potato and throw it into your potato bag," Caroline added.
The potato game begins
Suddenly, the silent class became a noisy market with little kids and their potatoes.
Mike threw his first potato into the bag and said, "Sam hit my head last week. So I throw one here." Then he threw the second potato and said, "Jane said my hair is ugly. So I throw another one for her."
"Mary didn't want to lend me her exercise book. So I throw one more here," Mike continued to fill his potato bag. He felt upset with his classmates and swore never to forgive them. At last, he had 10 potatoes in his bag.
When the students finished their potato business, the bell rang signaling the class was over.
Caroline told her students, "For this week, bring your potato bag wherever you go. This is your homework. If anyone hurt you, just write their name on a new potato and throw it into your potato bag."
Releasing the hatred
Initially the students were happy. They can release their hatred through throwing the potatoes. And most of the potato bags were full. Michelle had more than 50 potatoes in her bag!
But a fter a few days, excitement turned to burden. Their potato bag became heavier. The kids no longer had the energy to carry their heavy potato bag all the time. So they turned to their teacher.
Mike complained, "Teacher! When can we complete this exercise? We are almost buried under these potatoes!"
The burden of hatred
Caroline smiled and said, "So now you know the burden of not forgiving others, don't you?" Puzzled faces across the classroom looked at Caroline. The students couldn't get it.
"You're burdening yourself with these potatoes. The more you couldn't forgive others, the heavier your load becomes," explained Caroline.
"So what shall we do?" Mike asked again.
"Simple. Just let it go. Forgive everyone and take out all the potatoes from your bag. This will ease your entire burden. And you'll be free." Caroline said.
"But they have hurt me before. And I hate them!" Mike protested.
"Just... let it go..." Caroline said slowly.
How many of us can let go of our hatred? Hating someone is torturing yourself. That person may or may not even know you're hating them! There is nothing positive about hatred yet you are harbouring negative feelings in your heart. Habouring hatred is the most unfair treatment one can give to himself.
Destined To Die Young?
I still remember once a woman came to attend my course and told me she knew all aspects of astrology. I just smiled and thought she wanted to forecast my fortune.
Later she told me the reason she learnt fortune telling. It was because a famous fortune teller once told her she only could live up to 47 years old. She was very angry and decided to master fortune telling on her own.
When she had commanded fortune telling skills, she discovered the fact she indeed could not live very long. So she decided to do meaningful things before she passed away.
Changing destiny
She actively participated in charitable activities and became a very kind person. She is now 53 years old with a healthy body.
So I jokingly said to her, "Oh! It's wonderful! Now you can go to the fortune teller and laugh at him."
"I should thank him instead", she said. "I know for my character, I could only live up to 47 years old due to heart attack. The reason I could live till today is because of my open-heartedness."
She changed her destiny because she transformed the way she looks at the world! Everyone can change his destiny, your life lies in your own hand!
Turning a lemon into lemonade
Every obstacle in life has its meaning. Many setbacks must be looked upon as a mean to make you more successful. Learn to turn negative setback into a strong positive driving force for you.
Your enemy is often the person you must thank for. They may indirectly help you to become a better person and attain more success in life.
Therefore, regard your enemy as your friend. There's no point to drag on the confrontation with others. When hatred is resolved, it is a win-win situation for both!
Later she told me the reason she learnt fortune telling. It was because a famous fortune teller once told her she only could live up to 47 years old. She was very angry and decided to master fortune telling on her own.
When she had commanded fortune telling skills, she discovered the fact she indeed could not live very long. So she decided to do meaningful things before she passed away.
Changing destiny
She actively participated in charitable activities and became a very kind person. She is now 53 years old with a healthy body.
So I jokingly said to her, "Oh! It's wonderful! Now you can go to the fortune teller and laugh at him."
"I should thank him instead", she said. "I know for my character, I could only live up to 47 years old due to heart attack. The reason I could live till today is because of my open-heartedness."
She changed her destiny because she transformed the way she looks at the world! Everyone can change his destiny, your life lies in your own hand!
Turning a lemon into lemonade
Every obstacle in life has its meaning. Many setbacks must be looked upon as a mean to make you more successful. Learn to turn negative setback into a strong positive driving force for you.
Your enemy is often the person you must thank for. They may indirectly help you to become a better person and attain more success in life.
Therefore, regard your enemy as your friend. There's no point to drag on the confrontation with others. When hatred is resolved, it is a win-win situation for both!
Understanding Women
In my last article I raised quite a few eyebrows and upset the apple cart with many women in writing about “Understanding Men.” Whether or not we like it, men and women are different. There were some very simple responses to the last article stating, “let’s all just respect each other” when I touted that society and most especially women, ‘emasculate men’. As I suspected, the majority of the women did not like this statement, and the men were most thankful. Surprising response…huh?
In this article, I am going to lightly cover understanding women. Ladies, you might want to cut and paste this one into your man’s e-mail.
Let’s face it, women have been trying to figure out men for centuries and men have been trying to figure out women. Women complain that men don’t take the time to try and figure us out as much as we do them, however, I think they do it in their own quiet way. I have never met a man that runs to his friends and processes the relationship and his feelings with them, however, being a woman, this can be a natural, everyday occurrence.
If I had an open platform with a room filled with men, here are a few things I would love to tell them about Understanding Women.
When a woman is having challenges in her relationship or with life in general, we talk to our girlfriends. This is how we bond, this is how we feel safe and comfortable. It is not something we are doing to disrespect you or the relationship, it is simply our way of working things out. Just as men often get quiet and go into their cave, women need to express their feelings to someone they trust. We need to talk things through until it is completely out of our system. It might seem like we are over processing every little issue, but understand that this is your perspective based on who you are, and that talking for us provides an outlet and release from our frustrations.
Crying. Please don’t tell your woman not to cry. This is another way we release our feelings when things get overwhelming. We know you are uncomfortable when we cry and sometimes we just need to be held and told that “everything will be okay.” It might not make any sense at the moment, but try it the next time your partner cries. Just reach out to her and see what happens. I am not saying that men do not cry, however I have noticed the reaction from men when a woman cries. They can feel helpless and not know what to do. Just hold her and allow her the space to cry and just be present. Don’t try and fix her.
When a woman hears that she is “being too sensitive” this can go either way. If you are saying this to a woman who has come into her power, watch out. This will only anger her and rightfully so. If you are saying this to a woman who has not yet developed into her power, she will re-coil. Either way, telling a woman she is too sensitive is an attempt to invalidate the very core of her being. I personally do not believe that a person can be “too sensitive.” Everyone feels emotion at a different level; it is how you express that emotion is the important element.
The other expression I would not use with a woman is “you are such a bitch.” You will have the same reaction as previously stated. When a woman is acting in a certain way, angry or any other, ask her calmly, “what are you feeling? Are you okay?” You might be in the heat of an argument, but if you can muster up enough inner calmness and gently ask what she is feeling this could diffuse the situation. Often times our hurt comes out in anger and we just need for you to ask us what is really going on.
I am saving the big one for last and this probably goes for both men and women, however I hear this more from women. Do NOT lie to us or cheat on us! Can I say that again? Do not lie or cheat on us!
Let’s begin with lying. Most men lie to women because they are afraid of their reaction if they tell the truth. Simply stating, “I’m afraid to tell you the truth because I’m scared of your reaction” will be useful. That very statement tells a woman a lot. It helps us to prepare and understand that if we don’t want to alienate you from future uncomfortable situations that we might want listen to what you have to say more calmly. This does not mean that we will not be upset given the degree of what you have to share with us, however it will help for us to be aware. Women hate being lied to and would much rather know the truth. If you think you are saving a woman by telling her a lie, this is just the opposite. We are much stronger and tougher than you think.
Here’s the deal, although women are sensitive, feminine beings, we are extraordinarily powerful beings. By nature, women can handle much more emotional pain and trauma than men. This has been proven time and time again. Not only are our bodies built incredibly strong to bear children and sustain them, but the very core of our emotional being is stunningly powerful. I am so often in awe watching women navigate through life’s most difficult challenges where most men crumble and check out.
Cheating. This is something I never understood. Why cheat? Why not just get out of the relationship? I had a boyfriend who cheated on me and when I confronted him, he lied about it. This makes absolutely no sense to me, especially if you are not married. There is nothing at stake. Just break up with the person. If you are in a marriage and feel the need to cheat, talk about it before doing it. Discuss your feelings about why you want to cheat or get to a therapist. If my boyfriend had come to me and told me that he wanted to be with another woman, it would hurt, however, we could then examine why he felt this way.
I suppose all of this is moot because if someone wants to cheat, they probably have very little consciousness at the moment to talk about it. The best advice? Just don’t do it!! It’s bad karma.
Understanding Men
One of the important things I learned was how we as women emasculate men and as a result we lose their trust. It is not something that we are consciously doing, but unfortunately society has reinforced this behavior. Whether we realize this or not, this chips away at a man’s self-esteem and we continue to push them farther away. For me, I wanted to gain a man’s trust. I wanted to find my best friend and be a supportive, kind and loving partner. This does not mean subservient as that is not my style, but I had to look at the various ways that I added to emasculating my partner. I realized that every time I criticized, rolled my eyes, continually interrupted him, invalidated his opinion, laughed at men-bashing jokes, that I was only putting more and more of a wall between us.
We as a society encourage men-bashing jokes and t-shirts that say “men are stupid”. How are we going to come together if we continue to alienate the very people we want to be close with? How are we going to develop intimacy with this kind of negative energy floating around? And the same goes for men doing this behavior with women. Remember, I am coming from my own personal experience. Use this information and personalize it for your own situation.
When we as women are having challenges with men, what do we do? We run to our girlfriends complaining and crying about how bad the man has been and our GIRLFRIENDS reinforce our beliefs. Of course they are going to reinforce our beliefs, because they are women and we think in similar ways. Here is the lesson: Men are men and they do not think like women, and the same goes the other way. We do not think like men. That is the beauty of choosing to be in a relationship with either a man or a woman.
Instead of battling against a man’s nature, honor it and understand it. Once you begin to understand it, you will no longer be hurt or offended. John Gray talks about this beautifully in his book Men are From Mars, Women are From Venus. Many men need to be quiet and go into their cave to figure things out. Many women need to bond and talk things out with their friends. Once you understand that your man needs some alone and quiet time, this will make it easier for you to back off and give him space without getting upset. And the same goes for men understanding women.
Here is another tip. In a previous article I talked about men coming on very strong for the first few months and then backing off. When men first begin dating and they are excited about someone new, they begin to visualize themselves in different situations with the person. It is not something they are doing consciously, but they begin to see themselves with you and then begin opening their mouth and start making premature plans. I have had this happen numerous times where a man will begin talking about how fun it would be to go skiing together, or away for the weekend or to meet his family. This is because men start to put you into their lives before you are actually there. Then they realize that “oops, I don't know this person that well” and begin to back off. It is not something they are doing intentionally to hurt you, it is just their initial way of bonding.
Okay, one more communication tip. You really want to find out more about a man and what he feels about something. Do not ask him what he “feels”, but rather ask, “so what do you think about that?” Then you need to sit back and smile and let him talk. He will say a few words, pause, then perhaps pause some more and DO NOT say a word, just smile and nod and allow him to go on. Give him space to think. Give him space to gather his thoughts as he will continue and when he does, that is where the juice is and he will begin to reveal more about himself. We as women are constantly saying “uhuh” to each other or “yes, I know what you mean.” Do not do that with a man if you really want to get to know him. Allow him to talk and let him take his time. Try this with the next man you meet or even with a male friend, brother or father. See what happens.
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